Children learning to apologize and own up to their mistakes can be a lot like eating Sauerkraut: tangy on the tongue, yet healthy for the spirit (and gut!).
I bet you never expected to see “apologize” and “sauerkraut” in the same sentence!
An Acquired Taste
I have recently acquired a pallet for sauerkraut and other fermented foods. A little tangy, a lot of punch, and the benefits to my gut definitely make it more appealing as well.
Growing up, I wasn’t exposed to many fermented or vinegary foods. Jarred pickles from the store were about the only thing our house regularly experienced, and I wasn’t a huge fan. My tongue wasn’t acquainted with the powerful kick of a good home fermented food.
Now, I practically always have a jar of sauerkraut in the fridge, ready for the indulgent forkful on quiche, burgers, or straight from the jar (when no one’s watching of course!). Learn how to make your own sauerkraut!
The Deeper Meaning of an Apology
Tonight I got to thinking about sauerkraut and how it relates to parenting, life, and learning to apologize. The Bible talks about obeying and honoring your parents (Ephesians 6), and respecting and honoring authority (Romans 13:1-7). When my children do not respect or obey, we have them apologize for disrespect and disobedience, rather than for the thing that they did.
For example, when my daughter screamed and threw a fit because I turned off the light, she was expected to apologize for disrespecting me rather than for screaming. Even for a 3 year old, humbling herself and realizing what she did was wrong was challenging. She didn’t want to say “disrespect.” She wanted to make excuses and only say “I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry for disrespecting you” had a tangy taste in her mouth, just like sauerkraut. It was hard to say, and she hasn’t built up the habit of saying it, and confessing her wrongs.
Much like fermented foods, apologizing and forgiveness can be an acquired taste. Sauerkraut, despite its unusual flavor, is excellent for the gut, for the inside of a person. It can bring balance to the microbiome, it can aid in digestion, it can bring your body into a healthier state. Learning to apologize for disrespect and disobedience is much the same way. It can be harsh to put on the tongue, but once it’s done, it brings peace and restoration to your heart and spirit.
I always finish a situation like this with forgiveness. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). With the littles, I hold them, I hug them, and I say, “I forgive you, I release you from disrespecting me, I love you, and I bless you.” And we come back into unification, love, and mutual respect.
Bring it Home
So, I challenge you this week to help your children step into a deeper level of respect and obedience. Hold them accountable. They might resist, they might not want to apologize in the moment, but it will nourish their spirit if done in love. Let me know how it goes!
Note: I realize that we all have unique ways of parenting. If you disagree with how I handle situations, I’m always open to constructive guidance and suggestions. Please keep negativity to yourself.
In gut-healing love,
Kaci
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